主题：【文摘】财经术语新解--寓意深刻 -- 乱翻帖

财经术语新解--寓意深刻

CEO-Chief Embezzlement Officer.

公司主管︰首席侵吞公款主管。

CFO-Corporate Fraud Officer.

财务主管：公司诈骗主管。

BULL MARKET-A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

牛市：一个偶然的市道，使投资者以为自己是投资天才。

BEAR MARKET-A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

熊市：6至8个月期，期内子女无零用钱，太太无钱买珠宝，而丈夫无性。

VALUE INVESTING-The art of buying low and selling lower.

价值投资：低买但以更低价沽出的财技。

P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

市盈率：当大市崩跌，投资者湿裤的比率。

BROKER-What my broker has made me.

经纪：一个使你破产的人（Broker，以字面解）。

STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.

标普：平均地贫穷是今时不少投资者写照（以字面意义解）。

STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

股票分析师：一个今时经常唱淡你所持股票的傻人。

STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

拆细：当离婚时，前妻与律师对你资产所采的行动。

FINANCIAL PLANNER-A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

财务策划师：投资失利后你永找不到的人。

MARKET CORRECTION-The day after you buy stocks.

调整：你购入股票的翌日。

CASH FLOW-The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

现金流：流失之流。

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

机构投资者：由去年至今日仍被牢套的投资者。

PROFIT-An archaic word no longer in use.

利润：一个失传了的古字。