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主题:人艰不拆讲笑话之六 2023年新楼 -- 骨头龙

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家园 FLOWER, COME!

美军教条

Marine Corps Rules:

海军陆战队(这个蛮严肃的):

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

对任何人要有风度;对所有人保持敌意。

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

要快要狠。

3. Have a plan.

制定好计划A。

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

准备计划B,因为计划A很可能会搞砸。

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet even your friends.

待人要谦逊有礼,体现自己的职业风范,同时要准备好杀掉身边所有人——包括友方。

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

切记一定要带弹药口径以“4”开头的手枪参战。

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

任何值得来一发的目标也值得补一发;跟人命比起来弹药钱算个毛。

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

离敌军远一些;距离就是你的盟友(推荐以侧向/斜向路线避开)。

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

尽一切可能掩蔽自己。

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

尽可能进攻敌人的侧翼,同时注意自己的侧翼。

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

兵不厌诈;只有战败方会抱怨这仗不公平。

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only

remember who lived.

十年后不会有人记住枪械知识、战术动作、战术规划这些战斗中的细节,人们只会记得幸存下来的人。

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

如果你没在射击,你也应该表现出射击的意图。

(有趣的来了)

Navy SEAL's Rules:

海豹突击队

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

戴上太阳镜会很帅。

2. Kill every living thing within view.

看到的活物都杀光。

3. Adjust speedo.

穿好自己的speedo泳衣。

4. Check hair in mirror.

对着镜子梳理好发型。

US Army Rangers Rules:

美军游骑兵:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

背75磅的帆布包跋涉50英里去执行任务——肚子还空着呢。

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

找到要杀的人。

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

但要通过无线电获得上级许可才能杀。

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

上级说任务中止后气得骂娘。

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

然后再空着肚子背着一样重的包走50英里回营。

US Army Rules:

美国陆军

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

收到作战指令后开始骂娘。

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

确保随身带着足够多的弹药和咖啡。

3. Curse bitterly.

继续骂娘。

4. Curse bitterly.

不停地骂娘。

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

别听少尉的,他会把你害死的。

6. Curse bitterly.

别忘了骂娘。

US Air Force Rules:

美国空军:

1. Have a cocktail.

来一杯鸡尾酒。

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

调好空调的温度。

3. See what's on HBO.

看看HBO频道上有啥好看的。

4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"

“枪战是什么玩意?”

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

做一个“杀手”幻灯片演示给国会看,要求他们拨钱。

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

宴请“关键”的议员,并招待好国防部及军工的管理层。

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

拿到拨款后,设立新的指挥部去敛集资产。

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.

然后声明这些资产是“战略资源”,就不再动它们了。

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

要赶在13:45前到高尔夫球场,要不然就没优惠了。

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

确保自己的基地离战场足够远,又不能太远,这样不会越过免税规定区边界。

US Navy Rules:

美国海军:

1. Go to Sea.

出海。

2. Drink Coffee.

享用咖啡。

3. Deploy Marines

部署海军陆战队。 作者:战术人形-19式 https://www.bilibili.com/read/cv3307095?from=search&spm_id_from=333.337.0.0 出处:bilibili

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