主题：【新闻转载】为什么越来越多的北美华人加入教会?(图) -- 冯素素

The reason I believe in Jesus, is not based on reason, not based on understanding. It is sort of emotional, sort of like a drowning person hold on to a piece of floating material.

I was born on 8-23-1948. My father was a KMT soldier, defeated and left to Hongkong. My mother and uncle were put in jail after 1950. My grandmother took care of me, but she had been through a lot of torture. The worst was to kneel down in front of a firing squad. She was not shot, but she committed suicide after that incident.

When the gun fired, the heart of my grandmother died. The world died. There is nothing anymore, except some pain which was too much for her to bear.

It also happened to me. The firing bullet also killed me. My grandmother stared at me in the darkness all night long. She touched me all night long. I was 5 years of age, deeply sleeping. My grandmother did not want to leave me alone in this world. She went out to jump to the river about 4am. Every time, when I think of this night, I cannot stop the tears in my eyes from falling, even now a 56 years old man. Thank God, someone followed her and saved her from drowning.

I escaped to Hongkong in 1963, and meet my father there. We both missed my grandmother so much. I dreamed of her, and woke up in tears. I could not make any sound because other people were sleeping. My neck hurt the next day because I tried too hard to hold down my crying.

In Hongkong, I entered 4th grade in 1963, but entered Electrical Engineering in 1968. I studied at least 14 hours a day. Yet what a world this is anyway. I really want to find out. I read in Library books after books, until my ears started to ring, about 3 years ago. The more I read, the worse I feel. God, there are/were so many people even more miserable than I am. Am I biased ? I do not know.

I came to USA for graduate school in 1972 and then worked as an electrical engineer till this day. My heart died long time ago, but I live anyway. I have 3 lovely boys now. I love them so much. My sons are everything to me now, just like (me) being everything to my grandmother.

I turned to believe in Jesus after I read the Bible. There are many questions in the bible asked by some Jews long time ago, but these questions are also deeply existed in my heart. They are like echo ringing in a time space over 2-4 thousand years. My questions existed long time ago. They might have been there since the begining of mankind.

I know I am biased, and I am too sad a person. Sincerely I wish you all the best; wish you a good life. Yet this is how I found Jesus, and through Jesus, I live again.

Sincerely I wish you have Jesus too. I should write some more some other time.